I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
