you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
