My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
