don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
