At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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