3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
