So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
