I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
