So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
