How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
