Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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