u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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