is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
