found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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