also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I still have a little drunk in my system
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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