Apparently you make a good broom.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
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We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
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When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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