Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
