The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
