Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
