Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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