Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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