At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
last night I used snow as a chaser
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
