I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
