That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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