Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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