I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
