you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
