How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
