I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
