Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!

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  (614): We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order. (1-614): I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale! http://tfl.nu/h6yb
  Replies (50) Good night (5236) Bad night (834)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.

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  (509): she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age. http://tfl.nu/4icz
  Replies (31) Good night (664) Bad night (8515)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus

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  (937): i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus http://tfl.nu/ioq2
  Replies (26) Good night (8455) Bad night (694)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library

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  (513): twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library http://tfl.nu/04eo
  Replies (22) Good night (5346) Bad night (737)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.

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  (214): I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday. http://tfl.nu/w2er
  Replies (24) Good night (1971) Bad night (5087)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive

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  (574): Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive http://tfl.nu/wu3i
  Replies (8) Good night (925) Bad night (2983)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.

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  (914): Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen. http://tfl.nu/bjsq
  Replies (12) Good night (3061) Bad night (903)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.

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  (812): This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip. http://tfl.nu/lk0s
  Replies (8) Good night (1870) Bad night (727)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger

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  (678): And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger http://tfl.nu/5a5x
  Replies (10) Good night (1201) Bad night (552)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  How bad is the voicemail?

  (1-864): View more from South Carolina

  You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.

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  (864): How bad is the voicemail? (1-864): You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole. http://tfl.nu/kbpy
  Replies (30) Good night (943) Bad night (2519)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back

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  (540): I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back http://tfl.nu/d3ys
  Replies (5) Good night (854) Bad night (380)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.

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  (205): It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots. http://tfl.nu/unba
  Replies (4) Good night (1156) Bad night (707)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"

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  (313): he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH" http://tfl.nu/f18j
  Replies (9) Good night (2044) Bad night (565)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.

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  (678): Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on. http://tfl.nu/4vca
  Replies (1) Good night (1113) Bad night (265)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick

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  (516): I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick http://tfl.nu/9fbv
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (222)

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