We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.