You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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