Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.

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  (516): Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses. http://tfl.nu/khuc
  Replies (12) Good night (715) Bad night (1841)
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  (323): View more from California

  She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.

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  (323): She really thought E.D. was a sexually position. http://tfl.nu/ymfw
  Replies (14) Good night (557) Bad night (3659)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.

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  (912): There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up. http://tfl.nu/juwj
  Replies (25) Good night (10249) Bad night (1073)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...

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  (785): It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night... http://tfl.nu/p0ds
  Replies (25) Good night (2507) Bad night (4564)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?

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  (440): Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college? http://tfl.nu/er5p
  Replies (19) Good night (4125) Bad night (1110)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed

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  (208): My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed http://tfl.nu/lwb6
  Replies (11) Good night (2197) Bad night (1438)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.

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  (574): A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments. http://tfl.nu/8p58
  Replies (6) Good night (2820) Bad night (932)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!

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  (203): I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish! http://tfl.nu/uppy
  Replies (4) Good night (1726) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window

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  (289): you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window http://tfl.nu/k0yo
  Replies (7) Good night (1659) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes

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  (780): Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes http://tfl.nu/7wy7
  Replies (6) Good night (552) Bad night (831)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.

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  (615): I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake. http://tfl.nu/9fke
  Replies (1) Good night (935) Bad night (325)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.

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  (402): There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP. http://tfl.nu/d9id
  Replies (3) Good night (425) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.

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  (580): You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year. http://tfl.nu/svvl
  Replies (3) Good night (840) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.

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  (440): I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over. http://tfl.nu/4owi
  Replies (5) Good night (591) Bad night (187)
• Favorite

  (728): View more from

  and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'

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  (728): and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks' http://tfl.nu/7epf
  Replies (3) Good night (434) Bad night (443)

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