Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize