How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
