Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
