he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
