i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
