i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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