Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
BRING THE BAGELS
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
