Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
