First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
