Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
