Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
