im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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