found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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