So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
