I will die if light touches me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
