OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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