I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
