Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
