Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
