TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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