whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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