it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
