So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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