I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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