Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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