Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
